Thursday, July 10, 2014

Musical chairs on the compound

This is my second time living an expat's life.  The first time was more 20 years ago.  We lived in Waterloo, Belgium for almost three years.  It was very interesting.  I loved the food, wonderful and fresh.  There was something of a love affair with food there, not only for Belgian food but for all food.  We had the best Thai food that I have ever had, until my Thai friend fixed it here.  I loved the incredible  flowers every spring, the outdoor food and brocante markets every weekend.  There were the frustrations of not being fluent in the language, French.  I was able to get by, but it was not pretty.  :)  Also, it took time to learn how to get the products that you were used to using, not only what they were called but where they were or whether they were there at all.  My kids loved Kraft macaroni and cheese and Skittles.  They had to be brought back every time we went back to the US or we would have to make a trip to the "American" store in Antwerp.

Now, all these years later, we are doing an expat assignment in Saudi Arabia.  Again, it is interesting.  I love the varieties of bread and watching the baker bring the puffy Arab bread out of the fired up brick oven.  There are a lot of "rotisserie" chicken places.  I don't know what they are called here.  There are two kinds, regular chickens on a spit or flat on a spit.  I don't know how they get it flat, but it is a whole chicken about 1" wide.  I think the bones are removed.  I can't remember.  I only got it once, because I like the regular rotisserie better.  Of course it is served with the flavored rice from these huge round vats and a type of salad.  Then there is a Lebanese style restaurant where the food is very good.  There are bakeries that sell tamis bread, a big round flat bread, and ful medames, a dish of  fava means cooked with vegetable oil, cumin and other spices.  I think that is the range of Saudi/Middle Eastern cuisine that I have tried, except for that prepared by friends.  Many of the restaurants here serve Chinese and Indian food.  At wedding celebrations, I have had hashi, camel meat.

It has taken more time in finding what I need here.  A lot of info is through word of mouth or friends on the compound just giving you things.  And of course, now, we have the handy "Living in Yanbu" guide.  You can rarely find corn meal, nutmeg, grits, the breakfast cereals that we like and other things.  According to my husband, you cannot get US style Cheetos.  They taste similar to me.  But he IS the Cheeto king, so ....  

In Belgium, I developed a very tight knit group of friends.  I saw them almost everyday.  We not only socialized together, we travelled together and we depended upon each other.  When I returned home, I had an intense sense of loneliness that took awhile to get over. 

Friendship here is really the topic that I wanted to blog about.  Again, I see many of the ladies here almost every day.  It is a very close network of friendships and everyone supports each other.  We don't usually travel on the grocery bus by ourselves.  We help each other with projects.  And we have been very lucky that everyone gets along.  No one talks about the other.  At this point, there is no Queen Bee, as I have heard that there has been in the past.  But what is different is the revolving door of friends.  When I was in Belgium, there was the occasional person who left while I was there.  Here, there is a constant exodus of friends and then a constant entrance of new people.   From the time that I arrived 14 months ago, there are only two people here now from that time.  Right now, a few are on vacation and will return mid to late August.  By my count there have been at least 20 who have left for good over the 14 months.  Thankfully, there is some overlap of those coming and going.  From the beginning, there has been a schedule of regular activities:  Sunday:  Fitness class, Monday:  Exxon coffee, Tuesday:  Mahjong, Wed:  Fitness class and Mahjong.  Everything has basically remained the same, except for the Monday Exxon coffee.  There are not many Exxon people any more.  But now, it has been replaced by an Embroidery group.  A French lady has an open door policy on Mondays to teach a French style of embroidery for covering a journal, called Carnet Cousou.  Here is an example:

It seems strange, but you go about the same set of activities, but it is with a new set of people.  It is a bit like musical chairs except that every time the music stops, it is a different set of people. 
A week or so ago, it was the first time that I was taking the bus after so many people had left.  I didn't know of anyone going and I thought that it would just be me on the bus.  Of course, since I am a time nut, I am always on the bus early.  I was just sitting on the bus by myself, just feeling lonely thinking that it would just be me.  (Back home, this probably seems odd to feel this way about being on the bus by yourself, but here it is best to do things with someone else.)  Anyway, right before it is time to take off, I notice that there is a Chinese lady in her abaya, quickly making her way to the bus.  And I just breathed a sigh of relief.  When she got on the bus, in her limited English, I found out that she also was feeling very lonely and was worrying about taking the bus alone.  Her three best friends, whom she played mahjong with on a regular basis and with whom she went out to eat, etc, had left in the big June migration.  She was  happy that I was there!  From that moment on, I decided not to look back, just to look forward and start again.  Although my new Chinese friend wasn't very enthusiastic about joining us for Mexican train,  I have gone to her villa on the last two Wednesdays and strongly suggested that she come with me.  Now, she loves it.  And she has fixed me fabulous homemade dumplings with a special dipping sauce.  It made me stop and realize how lucky I am.  I have had two French ladies, a Belgian, a couple of Italians, a lady from Scotland, an Australian, a Dutch lady, a South African, a Lebanese lady, a Canadian,  a Jordanian, an Egyptian, a Korean and a Syrian embrace me.  And more will be back in a month or two!

So, the circle begins again!!
 

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