I was invited by a wonderful friend, K, to go to TWO Saudi engagement parties!!! This blog is about the first party. I had hoped that sometime during my time in KSA that I would get the chance to go to a Saudi wedding, but thought that it was highly improbable. My friend called me one day and said that she had something important to ask me. With the way that she said it, I thought that it was going to be something bad. Then, when she said that she wanted to know if I wanted to go to a Saudi engagement party, I think that I started stuttering to try to get the "yes" out as fast as possible. Her good friend, C, had invited her and said that she could bring a friend. It would be the next night and I would need an evening dress. Well, that was a problem. I did not bring one with me from the US. The next day was a Friday,a holy day. The shops would not open until after 4 pm and we had a dinner engagement at 6:30 pm. K said that I could borrow one of her dresses. Well, she is smaller than me! One of the dresses that she brought over was a size 4. I knew that one would not work!! But I found one that I could fit my body in like a little sausage. It was pretty also!
It turns out that at the engagement party, the couple is already married. The contract has already been signed and they are officially man and wife. But they are not living together and the marriage will not be consummated until after the wedding some time later.
K's driver picked us up around 10 pm because these are late night parties. It was at a large marble complex called Al Malika meaning "The Queen". Of course, this was a party for only women. Women cannot be unveiled in the presence of a man who is not their husband or immediate family, not even in-laws. So, here at this party, the women did not need to be veiled because there would be NO men, no male guests or servers. The groom was having his party on the other side of this venue. Of course, there were separate entrances, for men and women, as there are at most restaurants here. There was a large round stained glass window on the second floor of the foyer. Inside the foyer, there were lots of ladies, none wearing their abayas. Here beyond the eyes of men, women did not need to cover up. There was a young woman who was a relative of the bride to greet us. She was wearing a bright red evening gown trimmed with lace. She had no veil or face covering. She had on beautiful makeup and an intricately coiffed hairdo. This was the FIRST TIME after being here for almost a year that I have seen a Saudi woman's face! She greeted the three of us warmly and then directed us where to check our abayas. There was a large round table with many pretty glass containers containing candy. Then, we were directed to the receiving line. There were probably about 8 ladies standing in line to greet all the guests. They were the mothers, grandmothers and aunts. These ladies were dressed in beautiful evening gowns, again with flawless makeup and elaborate hairdos. The mother of the bride was wearing a light green sequined gown wearing a bright yellow eye shadow that went past the eye bone, with a tiara in her up swept hairdo.
I was not sure what to do so I followed my friends' actions. Each Saudi lady would shake our hand, then we would kiss once on the left cheek and then somewhere between 3-5 times on the right cheek. If they were very close to someone, sometimes they would kiss 8 times on the right cheek. They were so warm and welcoming to us, even though they had never met two of us. I noticed that when some ladies entered, other ladies did the ululation. According to Wikipedia, "ululation is a long, wavering, high-pitched vocal sound resembling a howl with a trilling quality. It is produced by emitting a high pitched loud voice accompanied with a rapid movement of the tongue and the uvula. Ululation is practiced in certain styles of singing, as well as in communal ritual events, used to express strong emotion. In Arab countries ululation is commonly used to express celebration, especially at weddings."
This was such a feast for the senses . For the eyes, these women's dresses were very elaborate and often very risque, in terms of low cut necklines, backless dresses, cut outs, etc. At the shopping malls, I often look at the shop windows displaying these various elaborate gowns. I always wondered where they would wear these ballgowns since men and women can't mix unless they are related. Well, now, I know. These gowns were colorful, had sequins, beads, some were covered in metallic fringe. They were often low cut. Most of these women were very well endowed, and even to me as a woman, it was distracting. :) Their hairdos were either elaborately coiffed or had lots of wavy extensions. And as I said before, flawless makeup. This was such a people watching event. We would just sit there and ooh and ahh as ladies came in. And the sounds of the music were very different, a mixture of Arabic and tribal.
The "ballroom" was two stories tall with at least 6 HUGE chandeliers, a runway in the center of the room leading to the stage, which had a wall of fresh flowers behind it. All along (and below) the runway were placed upholstered white sofas for people to sit and watch those on the runway. And at the back of the room there was a balcony with a curved staircase, with iron and gilded railings, leading from the balcony. There were approximately 40 round tables each seating 8 people. So, there were over 300 people at this celebration. To the left of the stage was the "DJ" area. The music was recorded and two ladies sang the songs.
C picked out our table for perfect viewing because she has been to many of these things. We could easily see the new guests arriving, the arrival of the bride on the balcony when it happened later and people dancing on the runway. Each table had a tray with a carafe of hot tea and a carafe of Arabic coffee in which the coffee was not strong and was brewed with the cardamom spice. It also had bottles of water, a tray of cookies, a tray of chocolates and a tray of pastries. Later, they would pass stemmed glasses with various juices: apple, mango, grape, etc. They also passed more cookies, little tarts filled with chopped olives, green peppers and tomatoes, mini star shaped sandwiches, a fruit rollup type of candy that was rolled in fluted shapes, small seeded flatbreads. I can't remember it all.
When the dancing began, it was very interesting. Two ladies would join each other at he beginning of the runway, walk up the steps and begin to dance their way toward the stage. The dance was one of very subtle body movements along with very graceful arm movements. Then, when more and more people were dancing, you would have people making their way up the runway dancing and people making their way back down dancing, and as they would dance past each other, sometimes pausing to dance with the person they were passing before moving on. There were also ladies dancing on the stage. They obviously loved dancing from looking at the smiles on their faces. And they looked so beautiful, it was so interesting to watch. Toward the end of our time at the wedding, C said "Let's dance!". The thought of dancing on a runway as ladies sat below the runway watching me dance was intimidating for me at first. I thought OK, I can do subtle, but probably not graceful arms. But I thought, just do it!! The three of us did it and it was fun. C is Mexican American and she said that it was easy, just another verson of the latin dance cumbia. She is such a kick! It turned out that I didn't have to worry. The ladies on the sofas were so encouraging and supportive of us. They were smiling at us and clapping for us.
Then, the main event of the night started after we were there about 2 hours. The lights dimmed and the photographers took their place at the bottom of the stairs.
I forgot to say earlier that we were not allowed to take pictures. A few members of the family took pictures because then they would be in control of the pictures. People would not be able to forward pictures of unveiled women. There was more ululation. Then, the bride appeared on the balcony. She was in a ball gown that made her look like a Disney princess! Her dress was a beautiful scarlet color, draped at the neck, with a fitted bodice, then billowed out from the waist, then near the bottom gathered up in scallops all around. Her light brown hair was in an upswept intricate hairdo, lightly bronzed skin with beautiful makeup. She was beautiful!!! She stayed still at the top of the balcony smiling down at everyone for a full 10 minutes, while everyone ululated (if that is a verb). She then tossed roses down to family and friends standing below the balcony. She began to move toward the staircase, but extremely slowly. She would take a step, pause for a minute, then take another step. It was this way all the way down the steps and for her walk on the runway to the stage. As the photographers walked backwards on the runway taking pictures of her, many ladies seated on the sofas put their abayas on or covered their faces with a veil so as not to inadvertently appear in any pictures. This took a while. All along the way, guests tossed rose petals at her. When she finally ascended the stage, there was more ululating.
By this time, it was after 2 am, and we decided it was time to leave. I am sure that the banquet was next and the party probably went on for a few more hours. It was quite an event!!!
Here is the only picture that we were able to take at the wedding:
My next blog will be about the second engagement party we went to the following night.
It turns out that at the engagement party, the couple is already married. The contract has already been signed and they are officially man and wife. But they are not living together and the marriage will not be consummated until after the wedding some time later.
K's driver picked us up around 10 pm because these are late night parties. It was at a large marble complex called Al Malika meaning "The Queen". Of course, this was a party for only women. Women cannot be unveiled in the presence of a man who is not their husband or immediate family, not even in-laws. So, here at this party, the women did not need to be veiled because there would be NO men, no male guests or servers. The groom was having his party on the other side of this venue. Of course, there were separate entrances, for men and women, as there are at most restaurants here. There was a large round stained glass window on the second floor of the foyer. Inside the foyer, there were lots of ladies, none wearing their abayas. Here beyond the eyes of men, women did not need to cover up. There was a young woman who was a relative of the bride to greet us. She was wearing a bright red evening gown trimmed with lace. She had no veil or face covering. She had on beautiful makeup and an intricately coiffed hairdo. This was the FIRST TIME after being here for almost a year that I have seen a Saudi woman's face! She greeted the three of us warmly and then directed us where to check our abayas. There was a large round table with many pretty glass containers containing candy. Then, we were directed to the receiving line. There were probably about 8 ladies standing in line to greet all the guests. They were the mothers, grandmothers and aunts. These ladies were dressed in beautiful evening gowns, again with flawless makeup and elaborate hairdos. The mother of the bride was wearing a light green sequined gown wearing a bright yellow eye shadow that went past the eye bone, with a tiara in her up swept hairdo.
I was not sure what to do so I followed my friends' actions. Each Saudi lady would shake our hand, then we would kiss once on the left cheek and then somewhere between 3-5 times on the right cheek. If they were very close to someone, sometimes they would kiss 8 times on the right cheek. They were so warm and welcoming to us, even though they had never met two of us. I noticed that when some ladies entered, other ladies did the ululation. According to Wikipedia, "ululation is a long, wavering, high-pitched vocal sound resembling a howl with a trilling quality. It is produced by emitting a high pitched loud voice accompanied with a rapid movement of the tongue and the uvula. Ululation is practiced in certain styles of singing, as well as in communal ritual events, used to express strong emotion. In Arab countries ululation is commonly used to express celebration, especially at weddings."
This was such a feast for the senses . For the eyes, these women's dresses were very elaborate and often very risque, in terms of low cut necklines, backless dresses, cut outs, etc. At the shopping malls, I often look at the shop windows displaying these various elaborate gowns. I always wondered where they would wear these ballgowns since men and women can't mix unless they are related. Well, now, I know. These gowns were colorful, had sequins, beads, some were covered in metallic fringe. They were often low cut. Most of these women were very well endowed, and even to me as a woman, it was distracting. :) Their hairdos were either elaborately coiffed or had lots of wavy extensions. And as I said before, flawless makeup. This was such a people watching event. We would just sit there and ooh and ahh as ladies came in. And the sounds of the music were very different, a mixture of Arabic and tribal.
The "ballroom" was two stories tall with at least 6 HUGE chandeliers, a runway in the center of the room leading to the stage, which had a wall of fresh flowers behind it. All along (and below) the runway were placed upholstered white sofas for people to sit and watch those on the runway. And at the back of the room there was a balcony with a curved staircase, with iron and gilded railings, leading from the balcony. There were approximately 40 round tables each seating 8 people. So, there were over 300 people at this celebration. To the left of the stage was the "DJ" area. The music was recorded and two ladies sang the songs.
C picked out our table for perfect viewing because she has been to many of these things. We could easily see the new guests arriving, the arrival of the bride on the balcony when it happened later and people dancing on the runway. Each table had a tray with a carafe of hot tea and a carafe of Arabic coffee in which the coffee was not strong and was brewed with the cardamom spice. It also had bottles of water, a tray of cookies, a tray of chocolates and a tray of pastries. Later, they would pass stemmed glasses with various juices: apple, mango, grape, etc. They also passed more cookies, little tarts filled with chopped olives, green peppers and tomatoes, mini star shaped sandwiches, a fruit rollup type of candy that was rolled in fluted shapes, small seeded flatbreads. I can't remember it all.
When the dancing began, it was very interesting. Two ladies would join each other at he beginning of the runway, walk up the steps and begin to dance their way toward the stage. The dance was one of very subtle body movements along with very graceful arm movements. Then, when more and more people were dancing, you would have people making their way up the runway dancing and people making their way back down dancing, and as they would dance past each other, sometimes pausing to dance with the person they were passing before moving on. There were also ladies dancing on the stage. They obviously loved dancing from looking at the smiles on their faces. And they looked so beautiful, it was so interesting to watch. Toward the end of our time at the wedding, C said "Let's dance!". The thought of dancing on a runway as ladies sat below the runway watching me dance was intimidating for me at first. I thought OK, I can do subtle, but probably not graceful arms. But I thought, just do it!! The three of us did it and it was fun. C is Mexican American and she said that it was easy, just another verson of the latin dance cumbia. She is such a kick! It turned out that I didn't have to worry. The ladies on the sofas were so encouraging and supportive of us. They were smiling at us and clapping for us.
Then, the main event of the night started after we were there about 2 hours. The lights dimmed and the photographers took their place at the bottom of the stairs.
I forgot to say earlier that we were not allowed to take pictures. A few members of the family took pictures because then they would be in control of the pictures. People would not be able to forward pictures of unveiled women. There was more ululation. Then, the bride appeared on the balcony. She was in a ball gown that made her look like a Disney princess! Her dress was a beautiful scarlet color, draped at the neck, with a fitted bodice, then billowed out from the waist, then near the bottom gathered up in scallops all around. Her light brown hair was in an upswept intricate hairdo, lightly bronzed skin with beautiful makeup. She was beautiful!!! She stayed still at the top of the balcony smiling down at everyone for a full 10 minutes, while everyone ululated (if that is a verb). She then tossed roses down to family and friends standing below the balcony. She began to move toward the staircase, but extremely slowly. She would take a step, pause for a minute, then take another step. It was this way all the way down the steps and for her walk on the runway to the stage. As the photographers walked backwards on the runway taking pictures of her, many ladies seated on the sofas put their abayas on or covered their faces with a veil so as not to inadvertently appear in any pictures. This took a while. All along the way, guests tossed rose petals at her. When she finally ascended the stage, there was more ululating.
By this time, it was after 2 am, and we decided it was time to leave. I am sure that the banquet was next and the party probably went on for a few more hours. It was quite an event!!!
Here is the only picture that we were able to take at the wedding:
My next blog will be about the second engagement party we went to the following night.
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